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All Of Your Underwear

from My Bachelor Ways by David Nelson Ostrosser

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about

We all know that when a new couple forms, the woman immediately has something to say about the style of ginch the man prefers, which was usually influenced by a previous relationship. This song explores that touchstone of human nature.

lyrics

Verse 1
Out on the road with a music band,
Playin' hotels and-a one night stands
You can lose your love if you go too far,
Pick another one up in the very next bar.

Verse 2
Suffice to say I've known one or two
Enthusiastic when they first meet you
To prove their love and to show they care
They throw out all of your underwear.

Verse 3
If you could see what I've got on
It's a curious phenomenon
First thing they do when they grab a boy
Is they gotta' take charge of the Undertoys

Chorus 1
If you've got solids she'll want stripes
If you've got darks well they'll want lights
The consommation of a new romance
She's gotta buy all new underpants
If you've got boxers they'll want briefs
Makin' it obvious where's the beef
To prove their love and to show they care
They throw out all of your underwear.

Verse 4
Predominatin' my laundry pile,
You may recognize the bikini style
In a year maybe less if she likes my songs
My new love'll have me paradin' in thongs

Verse 5
Out go the Pumas and the Calvin Kleins
All in the name of bringin' out behinds
Exact reverse of what the last one chose
And the loveliest of all were the Unicos

(Chorus 1 Repeat)

Chorus 2
If you've got reds well she’ll go whites
If you've got loose she’ll want ‘em tight
The consommation of a new romance
She's gotta buy all new underpants
If you've got boxers she'll want briefs
Makin' it obvious where's the beef
To prove their love and to show they care
They throw out all of your underwear.

Final chorus
If you've got boxers they'll want briefs
Even Eve hated Adam's old fig leaf
To prove her love and to show she cared
She threw out all of his underwear

©2021 David Nelson Ostrosser

credits

from My Bachelor Ways, released June 11, 2021
DNO – vocals, guitar, piano, harmonica, drums, synth bass.

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David Nelson Ostrosser image

David Nelson Ostrosser Gatineau, Québec

DNO (David Nelson Ostrosser) grew up in BC but now lives in Gatineau Québec. He has sporadically released music over several decades, mostly in the Americana genre, but also some Francophone releases. Working primarily with producer René Gely, DNO has produced a new album in a humorous/tongue-in-cheek vein for 2021. ... more

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